i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
