Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
