office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
