dude i'm inner monologue high
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
