Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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