your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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