And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
