I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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