i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I currently don't understand fingers.
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