I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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