They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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