dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
