would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
