Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
