had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
