I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
