So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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