we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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