very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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