the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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