So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
being pregnant is like rehab
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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