I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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