I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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