We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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