Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You should frame my arrest warrant.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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