I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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