Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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