I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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