Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
