been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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