I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
