grandma shit on top of the toilet
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
