you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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