...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Randomize
