This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
