No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
How many fucks given?
0.12846
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
