just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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