One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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