I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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