pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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