My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
