I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
