Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
