Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
