Me too!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
