Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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