I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
