Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Randomize
