It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
