Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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