You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
