you have to choose: penises or morals?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
