I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
